Friday, January 4, 2013

bad dreams and good days

I had a horrible dream about M last night. So bad that I don't want to think about it, let alone write about it. Suffice it to say that when he woke up this morning, he was smothered in hugs - and the need to hold him close has been with me all day. Not sure what triggered that dream, but I have been worried about M for weeks now, and praying for him lots. I am praying for him to find a good friend who lives close by. Too much to ask? Maybe. So then I will take a good friend who doesn't live close by. (By close by, I mean within walking distance! Handy for play dates!)

So, 2013. My resolutions for this year (although laughed at and scoffed upon and deemed impossible by A) are 1. to abstain from coca cola, and to decrease the amount of sugar in my diet; 2. to cook and bake more, and thus have the family eating more healthily; 3. to spend less money on frivolous things; 4. to be kinder to my husband (!); 5. to laugh more, and loosen up a bit; 6. to spend more quality time with my kids on a daily basis. So far, so okay. I have not had coke in 4 days, and so far I'm alright. If I don't think about it, I don't want it. So as soon as the thought of it flits at me, I push it away. I'm eating a lot of chocolate though! I'll start cutting sugar soon. Yesterday, I baked cornmeal muffins and cooked a meat and vegetable soup. A's been gone this week, so it has been rather easy to be kind to him!

I laughed till I cried twice in the last four days - man, does that feel good! My resident 5-year-old clown (P) was singing at supper the other day to avoid eating his food and when I told him to shush and eat, he loudly said "one, two, three, four, everyone together now . . ." and jumped up and started singing and dancing to the Wiggles "Quack Quack Quack Quack Cocka Doodle Doo" and even though he was technically disobeying, I couldn't keep a straight face. When M saw me trying not to laugh, he jumped up from the table and joined in, and I started giggling. When D stood up in the highchair and started dancing along, the tears were just rolling down my cheeks. After finally restoring order and getting P back in his chair, he poked at his food, made a total Calvin (and Hobbs) face and said "Ewww, yuck", which while really rude and not usually allowed, made me dissolve again. The second time was last night, when my resident 5-year-old sweetheart came up and gave me a hug and told me he loves me. When I told him I love him too, he said he wants to marry me. I told him that I am already married to Daddy, and he said "But what about the frustration?" I told him that everyone gets frustrated, but I suppose that under being kind to my husband should be keeping the frustration in check a little!

M has been in soccer camp this week, and he is really getting skilled. JJ is so great. School started back yesterday, and P is already asking for play dates, which is great. Today he showed up after school with a friend, and as they tore off their coats and boots, I tried to find out what was going on. When I realized that little J's mom didn't even know he had come, I quickly bundled them up again and sent them back to school, then got ready and headed out myself after them to talk to her. J will be able to come next week sometime to play!

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